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Trauma Therapy

Could Unresolved Trauma Be the Reason You Feel Stuck?

Feeling stuck isn’t random—it’s often a sign of underlying patterns rooted in trauma. These patterns may not shout, “I’m stuck in a trauma response!” but they whisper through tension in your body, restlessness, difficulty relaxing, or a constant need to stay busy. You may not even recognize it as trauma and instead assume, “this is just the way I am.”

But trauma doesn’t always arrive with a dramatic event. Sometimes, it lives quietly in the background, in the feeling of never quite being safe, settled, or fully connected.

You might notice it in moments like these:

🔸 You’re always bracing for something. Even when life is “fine,” your body feels tense, like it’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. Loud noises, sudden changes, or even minor stressors can feel overwhelming.

🔸 Sleep is elusive. You struggle to fall asleep, wake in the night with a racing mind, or start your day feeling as tired as when you went to bed.

🔸 Your mind won’t turn off. You overanalyze conversations, second-guess decisions, and replay scenarios, trying to stay ahead of anything that could go wrong.

🔸 You feel disconnected from yourself. Some days feel numb or flat. Other days, waves of emotion come out of nowhere, sadness, fear, or anger, and you’re not sure why.

🔸 Boundaries are hard. You might have trouble saying no or put others’ needs ahead of your own to avoid conflict. Or you may distance yourself from connection because it feels unpredictable or unsafe.

🔸 Staying busy keeps you safe. Constant motion, productivity, or distraction becomes a shield—because slowing down brings feelings you’ve been trying to avoid.

If any of this sounds familiar, you may be living in a trauma response.

Feelings of helplessness, immobility, and freezing. If hyperarousal is the nervous system’s accelerator, a sense of overwhelming helplessness is its brake. The helplessness that is experienced at such times is not the ordinary sense of helplessness that can affect anyone from time to time. It is the sense of being collapsed, immobilized, and utterly helpless. It is not a perception, belief, or a trick of the imagination. It is real.
— Peter Levine

“Why Can’t I Just Get Over It?”

Maybe you’ve asked yourself: Why is this still affecting me? Shouldn’t I be past it by now?

Maybe you've wondered if your experience "counts" as trauma, especially if others have gone through worse. Or maybe you feel ashamed for still struggling, like you should have moved on.

Here’s the truth: trauma isn’t just something that happened in the past. It’s something that lives on in the body when there wasn’t enough safety or support to fully process it at the time. Even if your mind has tried to make sense of it or push it aside, your nervous system may still be responding as if the threat is happening now.

If your body learned to stay on high alert, to shut down, or to brace for harm, those protective patterns don’t just fade with time. They stay active beneath the surface until they’re gently acknowledged, processed, and released. That’s why willpower alone often isn’t enough. Healing doesn’t come from forcing yourself to “get over it.” It comes from learning how to feel safe again, in your body, in your relationships, and in the present moment.

The Good News Is You Are Not Alone!

Trauma is more common than most people realize.

  • Over 70% of adults (around 223 million people) have experienced at least one traumatic event.

  • 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men will experience some form of physical or sexual violence.

  • More than 60% of adults grew up with emotional neglect, abuse, or instability.

For some, trauma stems from a single, overwhelming event, like a car accident, a sudden loss, a natural disaster, a medical emergency, or an act of violence. These are often what people traditionally think of when they hear the word “trauma.”

Trauma doesn’t always come from a single, catastrophic event. It can also come from ongoing stress or a lack of emotional support, especially in childhood. Experiences like emotional neglect, abuse (emotional, physical, or sexual), bullying, or growing up in a home with addiction, instability, or inconsistency can shape your nervous system in lasting ways.

Trauma is personal. It’s not just about what happened to you; it’s about what it felt like to go through it, especially if you were alone with fear, confusion, or pain.

How Can Trauma Therapy Help?

Healing from trauma is a process of gently reconnecting with your body, your emotions, and the inner resources that help you feel safe and whole. I integrate three powerful, body-based approaches to support this process:

Somatic Experiencing® (SE)

SE is a gentle, body-oriented approach that helps release stored survival energy from past overwhelm. It works by supporting your nervous system to gradually complete and resolve fight, flight, or freeze responses that may still be stuck in your body.

Instead of diving into painful emotions all at once, SE builds your capacity to be with what’s difficult, without becoming overwhelmed. Over time, your system learns that the threat is over, and a sense of ease and regulation returns.

Inner Relationship Focusing (IRF)

IRF supports healing by helping you turn inward with compassion and curiosity. Often, trauma creates inner conflict: one part of you may want to move on, while another part is still frozen in fear, shame, or pain.

Rather than battling these parts, IRF teaches you to meet them with presence. This practice strengthens your inner witness—the part of you that can hold pain without being consumed by it. As a result, deeply rooted beliefs like “I’m not safe” or “I have to please others to survive” begin to soften, allowing new possibilities to emerge.

Healing Touch Support

Because trauma often involves a loss of connection, healing through touch, whether real or imagined, can restore a sense of belonging and safety. Healing Touch Support can take many forms:

  • Self-contact techniques, like placing your hand on your heart or belly, can help soothe and ground your nervous system.

  • Gentle, attuned touch (if in-person and with your consent) can support co-regulation and connection.

  • Imaginal touch—simply visualizing safe contact—can be surprisingly powerful and healing.

When offered with presence and care, touch becomes a bridge back to safety, trust, and connection with yourself and others.

Healing from trauma is a journey of reconnecting with your body, emotions, and inner wisdom in a way that feels safe and empowering. Using Somatic Experiencing (SE), Inner Relationship Focusing (IRF), and Supportive Touch Work, we can gently unwind trauma’s grip on your nervous system, restore a sense of safety, and help you feel more at home in yourself.

Healing Is About Wholeness, Not Erasure

True healing isn’t about getting rid of the past. It’s about weaving your experience into your story in a way that brings strength, clarity, and a deeper connection with yourself. With time, your nervous system can reset. Your emotional landscape becomes less overwhelming. You begin to feel more alive, more capable of connection, and more present in your life.

Healing Happens in the Present Moment

If something inside you is saying it’s time to heal, I invite you to take that first step. What happened to you is only part of your story, but it does not define who you are right now. If you’re ready to step into the present and reconnect with all of who you are, let’s talk. Healing isn’t about leaving the past behind, it’s about integrating it, honoring it, and stepping fully into the life that’s waiting for you.

Begin Your Healing Journey—One Step at a Time

If you’re curious about how Trauma Therapy could support you, I’d be honored to walk alongside you. You can schedule a free 20-minute phone consultation through my scheduling page or reach out with any questions using the contact form. I look forward to connecting with you.

Trauma Therapy, Caldwell

307 Bloomfield Ave Suite, 204, Caldwell, NJ 07006